Sep

30

OSHA are the real terrorists. I am so relocating my underground lair out of the US.

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Sep

30

#FF @Mavic_Chen @rockisagirlsbff @BestDrWho @DepressedDarth @alexblagg @Scar_the_King @High_Sea_Pirate @notch @SexyLiberal

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Sep

11

You haven’t lived until you’ve performed surgery with a chainsaw. Which is more than I can say for my patients.

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Sep

11

As much as I love lasers, the saw is still my favorite medical implement.

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Sep

07

Do you think Justin Bieber knows how to moon walk? Because I have a spare rocket I’m just itching to use.

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Sep

04

“@fart: ,@SMASHMOUTH EAT THE EGGS. PLEASE RT EVERYONE” or I will kill everyone your shitty charity is supposed to help.

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Sep

04

I could kill a billion people and no one would notice as long as they weren’t white. @CNN

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Sep

04

It’s really awkward when a certain MI6 agent has a higher body count than a freaking international super villain. It’s not a contest dammit!

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Sep

04

@AP giving NK free food only encourages them. I’d suggest bombing them until Kim stops being a dick.

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Sep

02

Hey remember that time I had those labor organizers lowered into a tank of hungry sharks? Happy Labor Day Weekend

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