Aug

28

@Queen_UK your sandwich awaits you in the shed behind the palace. Also you should tell your guards to take the day off.

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Aug

28

Hurricane Irene update: I’m going to kill all the survivors and take your valuables.

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Aug

27

Anyone curious to see what happens when you detonate a nuclear warhead in the middle of a hurricane? Because I can totally make that happen

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Aug

27

@OffDutyEmperor spoiler alert: everyone dies at the end.

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Aug

23

@AP Maybe NATO should mind their own damn business and stay out of trying to regulate the free market.

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Aug

23

Don’t worry about Hurricane Irene, FEMA has been stockpiling hundreds of thousands of plastic coffins for this sort of thing.

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Aug

23

DC needs a real earthquake to shut up everyone whining about the pansy one that just happened. And by shut up I mean kill with debris.

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Aug

12

#shedidntcallbecause I had to kill her. There’s no room for mixed loyalties in this business. That’s another one on you James.

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Aug

12

#FF @Mavic_Chen @rockisagirlsbff @BestDrWho @DepressedDarth @alexblagg @Scar_the_King

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Aug

10

Catch and release is great for fishing. Not so much with secret agents.

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