Jun

30

You do realize that when you say “it’s not our policy to negotiate with terrorists” I don’t just throw my hands up and walk away right? #un

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Jun

30

It takes a village to raise a child. But it takes an evil genius to raze a village.

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Jun

30

@HuffingtonPost I swear if @facebook makes my private info public again I’m going to be PISSED OFF.

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Jun

30

I built a @McDonalds in my volcano fortress. God I’m such a sell-out. #LoveMcDsSmoothies

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Jun

30

#nothingsmoreirritating than when the UN claims “the check is in the mail”. No it isn’t.

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Jun

30

@Brisk I find that poisoning all the beverages in the fridge keeps people from taking them.

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Jun

30

Big Ben is about to go on a real Disaster Date unless you give me the FREAKING MONEY!

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Jun

30

Won’t somebody please think of the children? And how for a mere 20 million dollars you can have them back.

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Jun

30

@notch Have you considered hiring a hitman to kill all the people who keeping bugging you? I really cannot recommend it enough.

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Jun

30

MI6 agents are a bunch of crumpet eaters. CIA does all the real work and don’t cry if their tux gets a little dirty. #yanksvbrits

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